If I only knew how far along I was…yeah that’d be friggin’ great.

So since I was on BC when I found out that I was pregnant, I have no idea how far along I am. My guess is about 8 weeks. I’ve been trying to get into a doctor ever since I found out and I’m really just in a HUGE catch 22. Once upon a time I lost my job at a major automobile manufacturer, and with that I lost my insurance. I had a small severence package and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to collect unemployment. I rarely get sick so insurance was never really a priority for me…..until now. Fast forward to now and I’ve applied for the state insurance program, which is where I have ran into problems. It can take 45 days to process and every single OB/GYN that I have called says that they cannot accept me because I am pending and at the same time they cannot allow me to self pay until I’m approved. They say it’s a “law”…but no one at the state insurance place seems to know about said law. Try telling the Dr’s office that one, it did NOT go over so well for me. They have the control to schedule or not schedule. They chose the latter. So now I have no idea what to. I seriously am stressed about not knowing what is going on, with Ayden I had awesome insurance, awesome prenatal care. This time I’m scared out of my mind because I have no idea what to do in this situation.

And that little line makes two…..

So I just realized that really it’s been FOR FRIGGIN EVER since I have written a blog. Not that I haven’t had a lot on my mine because I have. Tons actually. Here is a run down and hopefully I will do a better job of staying up on this now.
-The three HPT’s that I took confirmed that yes, I am pregnant. While on birth control.
-Ayden was diagnosed with ADHD.
-I’m moving.
-There is much debate/fight between myself and ex husband and his oh so crazy family.

Out of work and back in school.

Things have been nuts around here.  My job finally ended and I am officially unemployed and also officially on my way to a Bachelors is Psychology.  It’s crazy and exciting.  School started today and I’m trying to adjust to the whole not having to get up and go to work thing.  I’m kind of worried about the finances of it all but I think I have a pretty good plan to make that happen and hopefully it will work out okay.

We’re off

Tomorrow we leave for a much, much needed and very long overdue vacation.  I hadn’t planned on a vacation of this sort at all this summer, but the planets aligned and somehow made it possible.  A week of playing in the sand and relaxing, I can’t wait.  We have no agenda, with the exception of Tuesday.  Since we’re on vacation over Aydens birthday we’ll be doing all kinds of silly kid things, overindulging in way too much sugar and letting him have his day.  It will be fun.  I also have an adult day in Savannah planned, I’ve never been there but I hear that it is fabulous and I cannot wait to browse shops, visit the winery and whatever else strikes my fancy at the moment.

Life in the battlefield

The battlefield that is my house, backyard, front yard and on occasion the neighbors yard.  I never quite realized how busy little people are, seriously it’s like 3 bolts of lightening constantly speeding through the house.  And give them little shits 5 minutes alone, yeah you only think they are being good.  So far we have had 2 dogs let out of 2 separate gates on no less that 552 occasions… and when I say 552 I really probably mean about 52.  Okay so we buy locks for said gates, the dog problem is solved but then there is nothing like a 3 year old and a 4 year old heading out the back door and 5 minutes later magically ringing the door bell…up front.  Nice.  Those two can scale that fence like they are breaking out of prison on a murder charge.  Also if you leave kids of the age of 3,4 and 7 in the back yard for about 10 minutes one night and they see up very, high a box that contains no less than 3 containers of sidewalk chalk paint stuff…they will take said sidewalk chalk and completely cover themselves, 2 dogs, and a garage in a matter of seconds.  The way these 3 get into things you would think that Jess and I never watch them.  But we do, like hawks, it’s really quite hilarious sometimes.  We have also taken to buying things in 3’s, two of the exact same color for the boys and one in a girlie color for Tori.  Because we made the mistake this one time of getting 3 things that were different and OMG you would have thought the world ended because no one wanted theirs, they wanted someone elses and someone else didn’t want to give it up.  So it’s challenging and fun and crazy sometimes but we are all having a blast.

Four

So my little man is going to be 4 and I’m freaking out.  This year he will get probably about 3 different parties, lucky guy.  I’m going to have a small one here at home with family and friends before we leave on vacation, and then on his actual birthday July 29th, we will be on the Georgia coast.  It will be our first real vacation and I’m so excited that he gets to celebrate his birthday during it.  Then when he gets back or quite possibly before we go he will have a party with his Dad.  I’m stewing up an Ayden being 4 post and quite a few others about life with all of these darn kids.

Where did all of the time go?

Lately I’ve been finding it harder and harder to find time to write anything.  Which totally makes me sad because there were so many great posts from the last month that I wrote in my head.  But now I can’t seem to remember a damn one of them.  Life around here is crazy which is totally putting it lightly.  A almost 3 year old, a almost 4 year old and a 7 year old who thinks she’s 17…makes for some really interesting evenings.  The kids are getting along as well and kids their age can be expected.  They have their moments but for the most part they are doing well and playing 24/7.  It’s fun.  This summer will be great.  I have 2 vacations planned.  One to a little place on the coast in Georgia…for a week..ONE FULL WEEK at the ocean.  So excited.  The other for a short 4 day trip over to Atlantic City with stops to every winery we see along the way.  It will be great fun. 

Family of 5

It’s been awhile since I’ve had much to say.  Okay not really that I haven’t, just that I haven’t had time.  Life went crazy for a second.  So my relationship with Todd is now over and I am totally good with that.  Relieved actually.  I feel like I have a fresh start and that I can be who I really am and that I don’t constantly have to walk on eggshells.  That’s a fabulous feeling.  Also my best friend ever, ever moved home.  Along with her 2 kids and all of their stuff.  Which is now strewn about the house and has completely taken over my garage.  And I’m totally okay with that too.  So I moved one out but gained 3 that I wouldn’t trade for the world.  She’s more than a friend to me, she’s like my sister and we can co exist well together.  We both need a fresh start and some change and we’ve always been good at motivating each other, so this works for me.  It might not work for everyone and I can completely see how it wouldn’t but for us it’s good.  Plus, she brought me back a case of wine from Texas.

Changes

I swear my life totally cracks me up sometimes.  This shit just can’t happen to anyone but me.  If you read my bog (yeah all 2 of you), you already know that I have been second guessing my relationship.  It’s been apparent at the house that I’m not really happy.  So I’ve had discussions and advised him that it might be best if he start looking for another place to live.  So please tell me why I am sitting here at this very moment and he acts like the conversation never even happened?  WTF is that about.  Seriously it was like the next day, hell even later that night, there was this strange amnesia that took over.  I just don’t get it.  It doesn’t have to be a bitter break up, not at all, he is a great guy and I truly wish the best for him.  I made the choice because I need to figure out what actually makes me happy, I’ve gone from one relationship to the next, really ever since Pat and I broke up and I really think that I need to take some time and figure out what really makes me happy.  What I truly want in a partner and what it is to be on your own with no one else to answer to.  I want to for once to be in a relationship because it is really what I want not just because I really just don’t want to be alone.  So maybe after a couple of more talks it will sink in. 

On a better note, I did finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up and I am pumped to start school in the fall and get another chapter of my life started.  Things seem to be falling into place, well until the sky falls again.

Houston we have a problem.

So tomorrow we are off to the lake until Monday.  Yay!  Well except that I just realized that I’ll have no computer and that makes me sad.  I am a self proclaimed Internet addict and well it makes me a little nervous when I don’t have a computer.  But aside from that I am very excited to get away for a couple of days and just be able to chill, no agenda, no house cleaning, just hanging out and having fun.  So until Monday seeeeeeeeeeeeees ya!!