The hits just keep on a comin’

So it’s no surprise to anyone that the automotive industry in the US is well SHIT.  Again no surprise to anyone that my job is being outsourced.  To top of today’s crap I just found out that my job is probably ending a lot sooner than expected.  Friggin’ rock on!!!  So a venti 3 pump white mocha with an extra shot make it snappy thankyouverymuch was completely in order.  And perhaps an alcoholic beverage or 10 when I get home. 

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Scared shitless..

Yep that’s about my general feeling right now.  I.am.freaking.out!  Seriously.  I leave Sunday and I’m pretty sure that my stomach has been in my throat since yesterday.  I have just a general feeling of anxiety and craziness.  Oddly it’s made nothing that Ayden does annoying though, but that is just for the simple fact that I am going to miss him like crazy.  I’ve never been away from him for this long and when I have been away I could have gotten back in 4 hours tops.  So it’s stressing me out.  Plus all of the things.  There are so very many things to get ready, emergency consent for Ayden, letting everyone and their brother know I will not be in contact for 3 weeks unless I am related to you by blood or if we share some common bedroom fanatics.  Other than that I will blog and they will get to see me over there —–> where it says Oh India.  Most of them don’t need to read this one so that will just have to do.  I’m still doing the whole I have to be forgetting something thing…which will slowly drive you mad…promise.  Oh and the Chantix…totally working, 1 cigarette a day and that’s only because I feel like I’m forgetting something and it’s driving me mad.

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Revenge of the ringtones

You know what I really, really hate at work? 

Cell phones.  I don’t want to hear it, it’s annoying and quite honestly I wish they would just answer their damn phone already.  The office I work in is quite most all day, you have the normal office noise but it drives me batty when I am completely focused on my work (or perhaps this blog) and I am interrupted by someones annoying ring-tone.  It is not necessary to have your phone on the loudest setting and if you really want to send me over the edge please just sit and stare at the number calling you and contemplate answering while the phone is ringing, there is a silent button for a reason.  The office I work in just isn’t the cell phone ringing all day kind of office, I’ve worked in places where cell phones going off constantly is par for the course because it is business related.  Honey this just isn’t that office.

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Learning the ropes

So I haven’t posted in awhile.  Life has been a bit crazy, I’ve been meaning to post, even thought about several topics to post about.  I just haven’t, I like writing I really do, sometimes it’s just that when you see it out there then it is real.  My Ex has been causing a bit of turmoil in my life, not that it is unusual it’s just gotten to me a bit more lately.  I feel like every direction that I go I see a rope, something to hold onto, something to keep me grounded and every time it gets yanked away.  It’s quite frustrating and I’m not quite sure how much of it I want to put out here.  Still have to figure that one out.  I’ll get there.

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2007 really effin sucked

So in a great big 24 hours 2007 will be over with and  all I have to say is SCREW YOU 2007.  It sucked for a variety of reasons.  Hmmm lets see.  This year I dealt with the very real possibility that my 3 year old is ADHD, I’m still reading and struggling with that whole fiasco (and generally avoiding the issue).  I’m losing the house that I worked my ass of for years to attain (yeah you know that ARM that is all over the news, it’s a bitch), which in turn has made by credit rating worse than a homeless, crack head (no offense).  I said goodbye forever to the one person in my life that I truly thought was a constant (so maybe it’s not so bad, he was more like a disease), I learned that I was for sure, no doubt about it losing my job.  The one job that I have truly rocked ass at, okay so not the only one because I naturally excel at work, I hate to not be the best.  The job is although, hands down the best that I have ever had, I love it, it’s stressful and crazy but everyday is a challenge and at the end of the day I really do feel like I accomplished something.  2007 was the year of training the peeps from India, very humbling, and very weird at the same time. 

2007 has also brought about some good things, my child stayed healthy.  He entered daycare/pre-school and is learning more than I thought imaginable.  He loves school and misses all of his friends on the weekends.  I’ve entered a relationship that is healthy for me and for Ayden, it makes us both smile.  I’ve realized that sometimes you can’t control everything and that sometimes life just isn’t fair but I’ve also realized that at the end of the day/year/life most of the things we stress about don’t matter one bit.  Life is not a credit score, a house, new clothes or another pair of black shoes.  Life is spending time with those you love and reading a bedtime story to your child, playing, laughing, hugging and not getting so caught up in all of the little things to the point where you miss the big picture.

There are a few things that I am certain for in 2008.  I will definitely be moving out of my original hardwood, fenced in back yard, only “home” my child has ever known awesome house.  Which quite honestly makes me want to cry, and I have, several times.  Nothing shy of winning the lottery will change that.  I will jump past the hurdle of actually losing my job, I won’t be training, prepping, and generally getting those who will be taking my job ready to actually take it, I will be packing up my desk and leaving….forever.  Which also makes me want to cry, and again, I have….several times.  I will be moving homes and jobs and trying to keep my shit together.  I will be trying my best to deal with the whole ADHD thing head on, and possibly even stop avoiding what everyone is saying.  2008 will be the year of “living through chemistry” as Kate says, well at least for me, NOT for my child thankyouverymuch. 

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An insane number of shots…

So I’m going to India, in about a monthish.  Do you know how many shots you have to get and how many pills you have to take just to do that?  It’s insane.  Hep B, Hep A, Tetanus, malaria, typhoid…and the list goes on and on.  I’m excited about the trip, and again I’m not.  The reason I am going does not much make a girl happy but hey it’s the way the world works and the way America is increasingly working, or lack thereof if you get my drift.  What really cracks me up is the number of shots you have to get to go to a foreign country but to come to America, not so much.  Strange how that works, gives you a bit of perspective.  This travel thing, it’s hard work y’all.  But if anyone has any tips on where to go, what to do, or not to do for that matter I’m open to suggestions.  And scared to pieces of that flight seeing as to how I have only flown once, from Indy to Vegas.  Yeah 4 whole hours each way, 4 hours of panic attacks and trying to keep my shit together, I have no idea how I will make it.  None.

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I’m not a morning person, but for you I will make an exception.

I don’t do mornings.  I just don’t, I need a full cup of coffee and silence before I am ready to face the world and be chipper.  I have a routine in the morning, get up, dressed, half presentable to the world, head down to our neighborhood Speedway and grab a coffee, then off to work, sit at my desk and drink said coffee.  After that I am ready to deal with the people around me.  But not until then.  Where I work we have to walk through a security gate with a rent a cop security guard, we have badges and we are all supposed to show them while walking in the gate.  Many of my fellow co-workers complain daily that they are stopped and forced to show their badges.  Me..never…not once.  Why you ask?  Because I make an exception, I hate mornings and I never come into the office all chipper and “Good Morning, you and you and you” but those security guards, yep they get a good morning every single day.  It’s my badge.  Because really in the morning, it’s cold, I’m bundled up, carrying my coffee, lunch, purse and laptop.  And before I get to drink that coffee I surely don’t want to be stopped to put it all down and find my badge.  So for the security guards I make an exception. 

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